Great news!

I went to the cardiologist for a routine follow up.  I had to get another Echo done before the appointment because the doctor wanted to see if I had improved since being diagnosed.  So, I went in and had the echo done.  It is pretty cool seeing your heart on the screen.  I was trying to read and figure things out but all the words were abbreviated and were medical terms that I did not know, but I thought I saw EF 38%.  I got happy for a while, but did not get my hopes up because I didn't know what exactly I was looking at.  I went back to the cardio to get the results and the doctor came in with a smile and said "Your heart is improving".  She said she likes to round down the EF numbers and told me that my EF was 35%.  So the number that I saw earlier was correct.  I am really glad that God is touching my heart and helping it improve.  I'll go back in 3 months.

One year

Well, it has officially been one year since being diagnosed with Dilated Cardiomyopathy.  I have had my ups and downs, emotionally and physically.  I have had my first ever surgery other than a c-section this year.  I am handling everything better today than when I was first diagnosed.  I have learned to make some changes.  Less caffeine.  Less sodium.  More exercise.  More time spent with my family living life to the fullest.  Physically, I do find myself getting tired when doing things and I have learned to not overdo myself.  Emotionally, I think I have done a good job dealing with it.  There have been a few breakdowns where I have wondered "Why Me?"  What did I do to get heart disease.  I thought I was pretty healthy.  I'm young.  I have 3 beautiful boys.  All I want to do is get better, so that I can be around to see grand kids and great grand kids.  With my faith in God, and my amazing family supporting me, I am able to.  I have an appointment in a few weeks and having another echo done.  Praying for an improvement!!

Scar picture

I have had a few people email me asking what the scar looks like from my ICD.  I am really doing bad at this blog lol. 

The doctor who did this surgery told me that he normally does a better job at closing the incision.  He also apologized for it being so wide and noticeable.  But I told him, its alright, no apology needed.  Every scar has a story, and I'm not ashamed of my scar.  I wear it proudly. 

Getting a job?

So it has been almost a year since I was diagnosed with Dilated Cardiomyopathy.  I have had my ups and downs.  Making some lifestyle changes takes some getting used to.  Now that all three of my kids will officially be in school for most the day, I am considering getting a job.  I have not had a job since my oldest was born 8 years ago.  All I have done is childcare.  I used to be a preschool teacher.  I do not know if that is the field that I want to go back into or not.  I would like to but I would like to know that I can do more than just be around kids.  Now that I have a heart condition, I also have to take that into consideration when picking a job.  I'm gonna have to get a job that will let me take some breaks so I don't get exhausted quickly.  A job that will let me have light tasks so I don't overdo myself.  I also have to make the decision to tell the boss or not that I have this condition.  I could also go back to school.  Get a degree in something and get a job that way.  There is just so much to think about. 

Another Cardio check up

Well, today was another cardiologist check up.  Nothing fancy.  I was actually supposed to have this one back in February but couldn't find anyone to watch my kiddos.  Got the typical questions: How are you feeling? Exercising? How much are you drinking? Watching your sodium intake?  Listened to my heart and added a new medicine to my daily routine.  I'm up to four pills a day now.  Pretty soon I'll have my own pharmacy, haha.  This pill is actually some kind of diuretic to keep the fluid low.  Maybe, just maybe I will lose some weight.  Hey, I can hope right.  I hate going to the doctor.  I always have a pity party driving home.  Why me?  I'm so young.  I have 3 young kids.  This should not be happening.  Then I got to thinking and decided that I really need to get more healthy and really really start taking even better of myself if I want to be around to see my kids grow up.  I want to see my kids go to college, get married, have their own kids.  So I really need to step up and do more than what I have been doing.  Anyways, that is all for now! 

ICD Follow Up

I am not doing too good at updating this blog.  Maybe there is a subconscious reason for that.  I don't know.  I had my 2 month ICD follow up appointment this month.  Everything looks good.  It feels weird when they have to speed up my heart rate for a couple of seconds.  It is an uncomfortable feeling.  I get anxious when they have to do that.  That is a feeling I don't want to feel on my own, that is for sure.  The doctor looked at my scar and said it is healing okay.  I asked him what that meant.  He said that medically it is healing great.  It is closed fully.  Does not look infected or anything.  He said cosmetically he should have done a better job at closing it.  He told me that he normally does a straight incision, mine is diagonal, and he usually gets it closed better making a much smaller smoother scar.   For that, he said he was sorry.  I told him that all is good.  I have gotten used to the scar and I am okay with what it is representing.  Without this scar, there would not be a machine in me to keep me alive if my heart were to go into a bad rhythm.  I told him that while I appreciate the apology, it is not needed.  I go back in 6 months for another checkup with him.  Meanwhile I have had to postpone my regular cardiologist appointment because of scheduling conflicts with my husbands job.  I am not taking 3 kids to a doctor appointment.  Not on my to do list.  So that will happen at the end of May.  I think everything should go well with that visit too.  Maybe just an up in my medicine doses. 

Wear it proudly

Back in January, I was having some chest pains which sent me to the hospital.  All was fine but they decided to go ahead and put in an ICD.  That was scary stuff.  It has been a few weeks now since I have had it done and now I have a scar on my chest.  The made the incision diagonaly so it is not like I can hide it with my bra strap or anything.  But that is ok.  This scar means I am alive. And I am going to wear it proudly.  This scar means I have a testimony.  I have a story to tell.  I am not afraid for people to ask about it. 

What just happened?!?!

I went to the hospital Sunday night because I had some chest pains for a few days.  I thought they would pass but they stayed.  I called my Cardiologist and they told me to go to the emergency room because it was new chest pains.  I waited in the er for over 6 hours just to be called back.  They did EKG and blood work and everything was fine.  Because it was chest pain they wanted to observe me overnight.  So I stayed.  They did another Echo on me and that came back good.  My EF went up.  It was at 15% but now is up at 20%.  Still too low, so they wanted to do an ICD.  Let me tell you I had a few breakdowns.  I had some visitors.  I had to be strong so they did not worry about me. They kept saying this was a minor procedure and everything would be fine.  I understand that but it is my heart.  You want to put wires into my heart? Come on.  I know it is the next step in my treatment but geez.  This was not supposed to happen until next month.  Anyways, after talking to many doctors and the guy who was gonna do the procedure, I decided to go ahead and do it.  They can't do it until Thursday.  Great, now I have to wait a few days in the hospital and be bored.  I know some people probably would love to stay alone for a few days.  Not me.  I wanted to be with my kids.  I needed to be home with my husband.  I have things to do.  But I wait. And wait.  Thursday came.  I am anxious.  Nervous.  Why can't I be normal and healthy.  What did I do wrong to deserve this health issue.  My husband was dropping the boys off at school and then was gonna come straight to the hospital so he could be there with me.  I was scheduled for 11am.  They came in at 8 telling me they were ready.  I need my husband.  I can't do this procedure without him at the hospital as my support.  I call him and he tells me to tell the doctor no.  So I told them that I needed to wait until John got there.  John walks into my room and I breakdown again.  Finally around 10:45 am they come in and get me for the procedure.  They wheel me down to the operating room.  They want to put me to sleep.  Wait?!  I'm supposed to just be sedated but still awake for this.  Why do they want to put me to sleep.  They told me that I was too nervous and they didn't want me moving at all so they wanted to put me to sleep.  I have never been put to sleep before.  I was scared.  Next thing I remember is I'm in the recovery area trying to wake up.  I'm in a lot of pain.  I thought I was dreaming.  Guess not.  Everything went well.  I'm home now.  I hurt.  I'm trying to get back to normal.  Taking care of my boys.  Doing housework.  Trying to rest in between doing everything.  I'm still sore.  I can't move my arm too much.  That is not fun.  But I guess it is all good just so that I can have this reassurance that if anything bad were to ever happen to me, this would be my backup.  I should probably name my shocker.  

This sucks

My kids have been on Christmas break for the last 2 weeks.  It has been kind of hard trying to keep up with them and with all the holiday get togethers and everything that needs to be done for the holidays.  I have really been getting tired quicker.  I have already had a few days where I just lay on the couch and have my kids all sit on my or in front of me and I just put on a movie or let them play the wii while I just lay there and try to rest.  I wish that I could keep up with them.  I wish that I can clean my house without getting so tired so quickly.  I wish I can run around the yard with my boys.  UGH.  Stupid disease.  It is not fun at all.  I want to be back to normal.  I do not want to have to deal with my New Normal.  It is not fair.  This sucks!